Hot Potatoes #3

Hot Potatoes #3 “Is Divorce Ever OK?”

Scripture References:

Genesis 2:20-25

Deuteronomy 24:1-4

Malachi 2:13-16

Matthew 5:31-32

** Matthew 19-3-10

** 1 Corinthians 7:1-17, 39-40

** denotes important verses for this lesson

Important Point:

God hates divorce primarily because of the terrible pain and hardship that it brings into the lives of His children. God does NOT hate divorced people. He has love and compassion for people who have been through, or are going through, this terrible experience.

Divorce is neither ideal nor God’s first plan for us. But divorce is not some unique or unforgivable sin. And God loves, blesses, and uses divorced people as greatly and as freely as He uses those who have never been divorced.

Discussion:

The 4 conditions for divorce or separation that Mark discussed on Sunday were Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction. What is your reaction to that summary? Do you agree or disagree?

Matthew 19:3-10

³And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?" ⁴He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵and said,'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? ⁶So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." ⁷They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" ⁸He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."

 ¹⁰The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."

How would you sum up what Jesus had to say about marriage? Did Jesus negate the possibility of divorce?

Under what condition did Jesus say that divorce was permitted? (The Greek word used by Jesus in 19:9 for “marital unfaithfulness” was “porneia.” It is the root-word from which we get the word “pornography.” Porneia meant “to prostitute yourself or to be sexually unfaithful.”) Do you feel that “marital unfaithfulness” applies to:

·        People who have repeatedly used pornography for sexual gratification?

·        People who use sex chat calls for sexual gratification?

·        People who engage in sexually graphic text and email conversations with someone other than their spouse?

·        People who repeatedly or consistently withhold sex from their spouse?

1 Cor. 7:1-17

Principles for Marriage

 ¹Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."²But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ³ The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 ⁶Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. ⁷ I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

 ⁸To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. ⁹But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 ¹⁰To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband ¹¹(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

 ¹²To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. ¹³If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. ¹⁴For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. ¹⁵But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. ¹⁶For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Live as You Are Called

 ¹⁷Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.

In what ways would our obedience to the instructions in verses 3-6 decrease the likelihood of future divorce?

Note the instructions that Paul gives in verses 10-11, 12-16, and 39.

If a person has divorced and remarried under conditions which the scriptures would define as adultery, what would you counsel that person to do?

If you have a friend or one of your adult children who is being abused by his or her spouse, how would you counsel them?

What is your greatest unanswered question about divorce or remarriage at this point?